Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Friction of Being Visible

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From The Book of Awakening: having the life you want by being present to the life you have, by Mark Nepo
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I found this wonderful book through our local library.  It is a daybook, a collection of 365 short insightful offerings that speak directly from, and directly to, the spirit.  It begins with an invitation from the author:

This book is meant to be of use, to be a companion, a soul friend.  It is a book of awakenings.  To write this I've had to live it.  It's given me a chance to gather and share the quiet teachers I've met throughout my life.  The journey of unearthing and shaping these entries has helped me bring my inner and outer life more closely together.  It has helped me know and use my heart.  It has made me more whole.  I hope it can be such a tool for you.

Gathering the insights for this book has been like finding bits of stone that glistened on the path.  I paused to reflect on them, to learn from them, then tucked them away and continued.  After two years, I'm astonished to dump my bag of broken stones to see what I've found.  The bits that have glistened along the way are what make up this book.

Essentially, they all speak about spirit and friendship, about our ongoing need to stay vital and in love with this life, no matter the hardships we encounter.  From many traditions, from many experiences, from many beautiful and honest voices, the songs herein all sing of pain and wonder and the mystery of love.

I was drawn to this form because as a poet, I was longing for a manner of expression that could be as useful as a spoon, and as a cancer survivor, daybooks have become inner food.  In truth, over the last twenty-five years, the daybook has been answering a collective need and has become a spiritual sonnet of our age, a sturdy container for small doses of what matters.

All I can ask of this work is that it comes over you the way the ocean covers a stone stuck in the open, that it surprises and refreshes, that it makes you or me glisten, and leaves us scoured as we are, just softer for the moment and more clear.

It is my profound hope that something in these pages will surprise and refresh you, will make you glisten, will help you live, love, and find your way to joy.


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Here's a taste:

January 17
The Friction of Being Visible

Living through enough, we all come to this understanding, though it is difficult to accept:  no matter what path we choose to honor, there will always be conflict to negotiate.  If we choose to avoid all conflict with others, we will eventually breed a poisonous conflict within ourselves.  Likewise, if we manage to attend our inner lives, who we are will - sooner or later - create some discord with those who would rather have us be something else.

In effect, the cost of being who you are is that you can't possibly meet everyone's expectations, and so there will inevitably be external conflict to deal with - the friction of being visible.  Still, the cost of not being who you are is that while you are busy pleasing everyone around you, a precious part of you is dying inside; in this case there will be internal conflict to deal with - the friction of being invisible.

As for me, it's taken me thirty of my forty-nine years to realize that not being who I am is more deadly; and it has taken the last nineteen years to make a practice of this.  What this means, in a daily way, is that I have to be conscientious about being truthful and resist the urge to accommodate my truth away.  It means that being who I really am is not forbidden or muted just because others are uncomfortable or don't want to hear it.

The great examples are legendary:  Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Sir Thomas More, Rosa Parks.  But we don't have to be great to begin.  We simply have to start by saying what we really want for dinner or which movie we really want to see.

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"I used to think that the reward for understanding truth was wisdom, but I've come to understand that the reward for experiencing truth is joy.  And while I'd really like to have both, if I'm forced to choose, at this time in my life I'll choose joy."
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About the authorMark Nepo is a poet and philosopher who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over thirty years. A New York Times #1 bestselling author, he has published twelve books and recorded six CDs.  As a cancer survivor, Mark devotes his writing and teaching to the journey of inner transformation and the life of relationship.
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