Tolerance is Resistance to Love

Some people think it's a good thing to tolerate the parts of life they don't like.  That's dumb.  Tolerance isn't acceptance.  Tolerance is resistance.  To be more specific, tolerance is resistance to love.

Now that's a pretty outrageous statement.  Curious by nature, I read further, hoping to discover how Steve Pavlina backs up such a claim:

When you fill your life with energies you must tolerate, you prevent yourself from attracting what you really want.  The more incompatibilities you tolerate in your life, the fewer compatibilities you'll be able to attract and enjoy.  Keep this up for a few years, and you'll be drowning in a life that feels totally wrong for you.

Okay, that brought a tingle of recognition.  Drowning in a life that feels totally wrong?  Been there, done that.  How about you?
~~~~

Steve defines incompatibilities as "people, places, objects, circumstances and activities that just don't mesh with the person you are on the inside."  When our external reality is out of synch with our inner self, our inner self will resist.  This resistance manifests as a feeling of wanting to escape our circumstances - quit our job, move out, end a relationship - but we feel powerless to make the big changes. We come to feel that it's just normal to dread going to work, to feel dissatisfied and disconnected from the people around us.

The first step to freeing ourselves of these negative energies is awareness.  He urges us to look deeply at our lives - our career, health, relationships, spiritual practice, daily habits, finances - and ask ourselves, "Is this really me?  Is this the life I want?"

Steve offers some unusual approaches to help us open the door to a more joyful and satisfying life.  The full article is HERE - I will summarize the sections:

Out with the old, in with the new

If we think we can attract what we want while continuing to tolerate the negative elements in our lives, that's a mistake.  Again, tolerance is resistance, and resistance keeps you stuck.  The resistance you feel acts like a delete key on all your best intentions.

When you remove the incompatibilities from your life, you raise your energy and your consciousness because you're no longer stuck in a state of resistance.  Instead, you feel relief and freedom, opening the door to attracting and experiencing what you truly want.

Stop saying yes

The first step in resolving incompatibilities is to stop saying yes to them.  Just stop.  It makes no sense to keep saying yes to what you don't want. 

Saying no feels uncomfortable at first because we have been conditioned to do what everyone else wants, but it brings a feeling of relief each time you do it.  That twinge of relief is the sign that you're on the right path.  If what you feel instead when you say no is guilt and disappointment, pay attention to that - it may indicate something you really wanted to accept.  In either case, know that your emotional response is your best feedback.

Commit to quitting

Once you've stopped saying yes - stopped putting fresh energy into a career, relationship or activity - you have made the commitment, and when you decide it's time to fully quit, the details will fall into place.

In Steve's words:  "I know I have to say "I quit" to what I don't want before I can summon the energy and consciousness necessary to attract what I do want.  If something isn't right for me, it doesn't matter whether or not I can see a more compatible match standing in the wings, I have to say "I quit" first.  I probably won't be able to see the new, more compatible match until I'm ready to release the old one."

Do you remember Genpo Roshi's dog?

Quit

Here's where the rubber meets the road, but the payoff for taking this leap is an incredible feeling of relief, freedom and a sense of limitless possibilities.

Fear and doubt may arise at this point - understand that this is your resistance wanting you to stay with the safe and familiar, to continue to tolerate.  This duo will bombard you with what if's and all kinds of negative emotions - see these thoughts as a trap, one that will keep you wallowing in negativity for years to come.

Love

The real test is whether you will choose to resonate with courage or fear.  If you choose fear, you aren't ready to have what you want.  If you choose courage, you demonstrate your readiness.   Courage is the ability to choose love rather than fear, regardless of circumstances.  When you're able to choose love no matter what, then you're finally ready to receive what you're asking for.

If you're experiencing what you don't want, then stop choosing to experience it.  Quit.  Leave.  Stop.  Enjoy the sense of relief that comes from releasing what you don't want.  This is much better than dying a slow death on a path you don't even want to pursue.

If you don't want it, let it go.  Say goodbye to the old with love, so you can say hello to the new with love.

We can't grow if we keep repeating the same experiences over and over.

~~~~
About the author:
Steve Pavlina is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal development bloggers on the Internet, attracting more than two million monthly readers to his website, StevePavlina.com. He has written more than 1000 articles and recorded many audio programs on a broad range of self-help topics, including productivity, relationships, and spirituality.
~~~~