Is Equality Over-Rated?

Dominance. Submission.  Two very provocative words by themselves, more so when taken together.

In these days of political correctness, any hint of inequality is seen as outmoded and oppressive.  But those of us who work with situations where decisions need to be made may have intuited that insistence on equality doesn't always stand up in real life.  Take consensus, for instance.  In a ideal world, it could be well argued that consensus is the best decision-making model as everyone gets to have a say and everyone has to agree on the ultimate outcome.  But in practical terms, consensus can take a long time and often results in very weak decisions, especially if one person is over-cautious, in which case that one person's hesitation can result in any forward momentum becoming completely blocked.  Think of a "hung jury".

Some might argue that democracy is a better, fairer system.  While it it is certainly more resource-efficient than the consensus model, the downside of democracy is that at any given time 49 per cent of the people can be very unhappy about decisions made by the other 51 per cent.  And that's not even taking into account minority governments and political patronage.

But I digress.  I want to share with you another of Steve Pavlina's blogposts - this one called Domination-Submission and Personal Growth, where Steve again takes lessons learned in the business world and applies them to the realm of personal growth and relationships.

One thing I really like about Steve is that he dares to thumb his nose at politically correct stances, dares to pose the question: what if the opposite were true? In this case, what if a consensual dominant/submissive relationship were more desirable for both parties than a relationship of equality? He first applies this query to an entrepreneurial situation:

So would you agree that all else being equal, you’d be more likely to succeed as an entrepreneur if you could start your business with either a free slave or a free manager, assuming they’re competent? And if you can see in advance that you’re likely to succeed, wouldn’t you be more willing to dive in and try it? Wouldn’t you also be willing to stretch and take more risks in your business?

Now consider this. Would these businesses also be good experiences for the slave and the manager? Could you fathom that they might also benefit tremendously from it? For example, what if the slave is, in real life, someone just starting out on their career path, and even though they work for free, they gain tremendously valuable experience. This “slave” is essentially an intern. Similarly, the manager could be thought of as a mentor or board member.

Then the story gets personal, as he and his partner experiment with the joy and freedom of a D/s style of mutual play.  (PC Warning: the following blog section may be offensive to some readers - getting over yourself is strongly advised.)  He talks about how, as the "master", he can see potentials in his partner that she may not see for herself, which he can encourage her to explore and express.  And she, as the "slave", can give him feedback that draws out new behaviours in himself as she playfully responds to his "commands".

With unconditional acceptance on both sides, each partner gains the freedom to relax and let loose, knowing they don’t have to worry about rejection or judgment. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to explore such things whilst knowing that your partner is completely loyal to you and fully accepting of you no matter what?

Steve concludes:

Perhaps an even more important point is to be careful not to dismiss a potential new growth experience out of hand. Be cautious about judging what you’ve never experienced or what you’ve experienced only in a limited way. If you’ve never experienced a particular dynamic firsthand, it’s safe to say you don’t have a clue what it’s really like. If you cast judgment from the outside looking in, all you’re doing is limiting yourself.

I think it’s better to keep an open mind about that which you’ve never tried. Don’t buy into the social conditioning that encourages you to pre-condemn with prejudice. Our society cannot progress much until we drop such limiting thoughts.

Read more HERE...

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and the dealer wants you thinking
that's it's either black or white
thank God it's not that simple
in my secret life
- Leonard Cohen
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